Inama ku bagabo bakundwakaza abagore igihe bashaka imibonano mpuzabitsina gusa

Yanditswe na Tombola Felicie
Kuya 17 Mutarama 2018 saa 10:54
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Agatha Ragira Ruhangara, umugore w’umupasiteri akaba n’inzobere mu bijyanye n’ubujyanama n’imitekerereze avuga ko ikintu gikomeye abagabo bakwiriye kumenya ku bagore babo ari uko bakeneye gukundwakazwa.

Mu kiganiro ‘Nawe Birakureba’ gitambutsa kuri Radio Ijwi ry’Ibyiringiro, yagarutse ku by’ingenzi abagabo baba bakwiriye kumenya ku bagore babo kuko nk’abantu basangiye ubuzima bagomba kuba baziranye.

Ati “ Gukundwakazwa ni ipfundo rihuza umugabo n’umugore, iyo umugore atakigaragarizwa urukundo, yumva ko umugabo atakimwitayeho ndetse akumva ko tagifite agaciro n’umwanya ukomeye mu mutima w’umugabo we.”

Avuga ko gukundwakazwa biha umutekano umugore y’uko umugabo amuha agaciro. ariko ko ikibazo abagabo benshi bagira ari uko batamenya uburyo bakwiriye bwo gukundwakaza abagore babo.

Ati “ Ugomba kwiga ururimi uwo mwashakanye yumva akaba ari rwo uzajya uvugamo, niba akunda kubwira amagambo meza, wowe ntuhore ugura impano kandi utajya umubwira amagambo meza, utamushimira ku bishya yahinduye haba mu mitekere, gusa neza, yaba isuku yashyize mu rugo, kumuhobera n’ibindi.”

Kuba abagabo biga gukundwakaza ari uko bashaka igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro, Agatha arabigaya cyane ati “ Iyo ukoze ibyo bikorwa byiza ukaza kuganisha ku mibonano mpuzabitsina, umugore abifata nko kwishakira iyo mibonano ntabifate nko gukundwakazwa bisanzwe.”

Yongeraho ati “ Ku mugore gukundwakazwa biza mbere noneho yakumva umubiri uguwe neza imibonano mpuzabitsina igakurikiraho.”

Avuga ko mu bihugu bya Afurika abagabo benshi bumva ko guhaha no kumenya iby’umuryango ukeneye ari ko gukundwakaza.

Ati “ Hari umugabo wigeze kumbwira ngo abagore turarushya ngo iyo umugabo aguhahiye ntubure ibyo kurya ,akamenya amafaranga y’ishuri, ntubure mituweli si ikimenyetso simusiga cy’uko umugore akundwakajwe?”

Uwo mugabo yavugaga ko kwirirwa ubwira umugore ko umukunda cyangwa ko yambaye neza, yatetse neza ari ibintu by’abazungu bitari ibyacu nk’abanyafurika.

Ati “Ariko ndakumenyesha ko ibyo umuntu akeneye kugira ngo abeho neza nk’uko byashyizwe ahagaragara na Maslow wakoze urwego rw’ibintu by’ingenzi nkenerwa mu buzima, harimo icyo cyo gukunda no gukundwa."

Uyu mubyeyi ukora akazi k’ubujyanama ku bantu b’ingeri zitandukanye avuga ko bitewe n’aho umuntu yarerewe ndetse n’uburyo yakuze bishobora kumutonda ariko ko buhoro buhoro bihinduka ubuzima.

Ati “Tangirira ku tuntu tworoshye buhoro buhoro, nubona hari ibitakoroheye ntuzacike intege ibuka ko uko ugenda ugerageza niko utinyuka ndetse na bya bindi wavugaga ko ari iby’abazungu ariko ukaba uziko byashimisha umugore wawe ukazabikora.”

Avuga ko hari abo ajya abaza igihe umugore cyangwa n’umugabo we baheruka guhoberana, ugasanga babiheruka iyo hari uwagiye mu rugendo noneho kubahorana bo bakaba batibuka igihe babiherukira.

Kuri we ngo nta wakwanga guhoberwa n’umugabo cyangwa n’umugore we kuko bimwereka ubwuzu amufitiye.

Guhabwa umwanywa wo kuvuga

Ragira avuga ko abagore bikundira kuvuga bityo kumuha umwanya ukamutega amatwi ari ikintu kimugaragariza ko umwitaho nk’umugabo we.

Ati “Abagabo bagomba kumenya ko iyo umugore avuga ntabwo aba akeneye inama cyangwa ibisubizo, ahubwo bavuga bakeneye gusohora amarangamutima yabo.”

Umugabo ashobora kwigarurira umutima w’umugore we igihe amuha umwanya wo kuvuga kabone n’iyo nta nama yaba ari bumuhe cyangwa igisubizo cy’ikibazo ariko gusa akamutega amatwi.

Aho abagore bataniye n’abagabo ngo ni uko umugore avuga kugira ngo yumve ko aruhutse mu gihe umugabo we avuga ashaka igisubizo.

Agatha Ragira Ruhangara asanga abagabo bakwiye kumenya ko abagore bakenera gukundwakazwa

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