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Ibimenyetso icyenda bikwereka ko umukunzi wawe atakigukunda

Yanditswe na Mukahirwa Diane
Kuya 14 Nyakanga 2021 saa 06:22
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Bibaho ko ubana n’umuntu mwemeranya ko mukundana ndetse na we ubibona koko, ariko hari ubwo akubwira ko agukunda by’amagambo gusa, wagenzura ibikorwa bye ugasanga bifite ikindi bisobanuye.

IGIHE yifashishije urubuga rwa ‘Elcrema’ yakusanyije bimwe mu bimenyetso icyenda bishobora kukwereka ko urukundo uhabwa ari urwo ku munwa gusa.

Nta bidasanzwe akora mu rukundo rwanyu

Urukundo rurangwa n’ibintu bidasanzwe, ari na byo bituma ruryoha. Kimwe mu bizakwereka ko umuntu mukundana atangiye kureba ahandi ni uko uzasanga ibintu birimo gutanga impano n’utundi tuntu yari asanzwe akora abihagarika nta mpamvu ifatika, nk’ikibazo yagize mu kazi cyangwa ibihe bitoroshye runaka, ukabona aretse ibintu byose mu buryo udashobora gusobanura.

Yigira ntibindeba

Abantu babiri bakundana baba bakwiye gufatanya ibikorwa bitandukanye kugira ngo urukundo rwabo rurusheho kugenda neza. Iyo uwo muri kumwe ubona nta kintu yitayeho, ari wa muntu uhamagara gusa we ntabikore, umuntu utagufasha mu bibazo runaka ufite n’ibindi nk’ibyo, ujye utangira kugira amakenga umuganirize umenye impamvu, kuko ni ikimenyetso kitari cyiza cy’umubano wanyu.

Ntabwo akwereka amarangamutima y’urukundo

Urukundo si ikintu wafata cyangwa ngo urebe ahubwo rugaragarira mu marangamutima yanyu mwembi. Nubona umukunzi wawe nta marangamutima adasanzwe akwereka, ukabona ntaho utandukaniye n’abandi bantu basanzwe kuri we, ujye umenya ko ibyo akubwira by’uko agukunda bikeneye gusuzumanwa ubushishozi.

Arajarajara

Umuntu ugukunda bya nyabyo, ubona ari wowe gusa ahanze amaso ndetse ibyo akora ubona ari wowe byibandaho. Niba umukunzi wawe akwereka urukundo rudasanzwe uyu munsi, ejo ukabona ntarwo cyangwa ararwerekeza ahandi, ugomba gutangira kugira amakenga.

Ahora yisegura ku makosa ye

Umuntu muri kumwe mu rukundo ukabona buri gihe mwagiranye gahunda ntiyayubahirije, ahubwo afite impamvu zidashira zabimuteye. Ujye ugira amakenga kuko hari ubwo aba adashaka kubikora kuko atagukunda, ugomba kugenzura niba impamvu zibimutera zumvikana cyangwa ari uburyo bwo kukwibuza gahoro gahoro.

Ashaka ko umukorera byinshi we ntacyo akora

Umuntu utagukunda bya nyabyo, iteka ryose aba afite ibyo agusaba n’ibyo ashaka ko umukorera, ariko ugasanga we ntacyo yaguha. Aba yifuza ko wamuhora iruhande, ariko wowe wamushaka ntumubone. Ibi bizakwereka ko atagukunda ahubwo hari inyungu runaka agukurikiyeho.

Nk’urugero ashobora kukuburira umwanya mu gihe umukeneye, ariko yaba agukeneye agakora uko ashoboye akabona uwo mwanya ndetse ugasanga yabishyizemo imbaraga. Ushobora kumusaba ko mujyana gusenga akabyanga, ariko yaba ashaka ko muryamana agakora ibishoboka byose mukabonana.

Igihe cyose umuntu akoresha imbaraga zidasanzwe akwifuza ariko ntazikoreshe umwifuza, ugomba gutangira kumugiraho amakenga.

Urukundo rwanyu ntabwo arugira ikintu cy’ibanze mu buzima bwe

Iyo umuntu aha ikintu agaciro, abigaragariza ku mwanya agiha, niba umuntu avuga ko agukunda, ariko ukabona nta mwanya aguha, ni ngombwa ko wibaza kuri urwo rukundo. Ubundi umuntu ugukunda yagakwiye kukubonera umwanya, nubwo utaba uwo kubonana imbonankubone ariko mukaba mwaganira birambuye kuri telefoni n’ibindi nk’ibyo.

Arikunda cyane

Umukunzi wawe niba ubona ahora aharanira inyungu ze mu rukundo, ukabona icyo agusabye arifuza ko kigerwaho ariko wowe icyo umusabye akitarutsa, ukwiye gutangira kugira amakenga. N’iyo byaba bigoye ko icyo usabye ukibona buri gihe, hari ubwo umuntu yigomwa agakora ikintu runaka kubera urukundo agufitiye, ibyo bikwereka ko agufite ku mutima bitari ibyo kubeshya.

Aba afite abandi bagabo/abagore bakururana cyane

Niba ufite umukunzi akaba afite abandi bantu ubona bakundanye cyane ndetse washaka no kwinjira mu mubano wabo ukabona biramubabaje, ujye umenya ko ukwiye gukurikirana iby’uwo mubano wo ku ruhande, kereka iyo ari inshuti uzi.

Mu rukundo, ikintu cya mbere ni ibiganiro, niba ubona ibi bimenyetso ku mukunzi wawe, mbere y’uko ufata umwanzuro uwo ari wo wose, ni ngombwa kubanza kuganira n’umukunzi wawe, ukamubaza uko ibintu bimeze, byaba ari ibisobanuro ukeneye ukabisaba kandi ukanyurwa.

Mu gihe rero abantu bakundana batajya baganira ku ngingo zikomeye zirimo ibyo babona bitagenda mu rukundo rwabo, haba hari amahirwe ko ibyo bari gukora bizarangira nabi kuko umuntu umwe yishyiramo ibintu runaka, atabona ibisobanuro byabyo akabifata nk’ukuri bikazarangira bibaye agatotsi mu mubano wanyu.

Ni ngombwa kugira ibiganiro n'umukunzi wawe mu gihe hari ibintu ubona bidasanzwe mu mubano wanyu

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