Benshi bibaza impamvu abana b’abakobwa usanga akenshi bakunda cyane ba se, abahungu na bo bagakunda ba nyina. Kenshi mu miryango itandukanye abana b’abakobwa bisanzura cyane kuri ba se, ugasanga ni bo bakina na bo, ni bo babwira ibibazo byabo n’ibyifuzo byabo kurusha uko babibwira ba nyina.

Iyo umwana akivuka aba akeneye umuntu umwitaho, kenshi urukundo rw’umwana n’umubyeyi rwubakwa muri cya gihe aba amuteruye akivuka.

Abahanga mu bijyanye n’imikurire y’umwana Klaus na Kennell muri 1995 nibwo batangaje ko iyo umubyeyi akimara kwibaruka biba byiza ko bamuha umwanya uhagije wo kugumana n’umwana we, muri cyo gihe hakaba hari kubakwa ipfundo ry’urukundo hagati yaba bombi.

Mu bushakashatsi IGIHE yakoze, yaganiriye n’ababyeyi n’urubyiruko ngo tumenye uko babibona mu miryango yabo ndetse tunareba icyo abanditsi batandukanye ku Isi babivugaho.

Twifashishije Alexis Rutagarama ushinzwe ubuvuzi n’ibibazo byo mu mutwe mu bitaro bya CHUK adusobanurira ko ari icyiciro buri mwana anyuramo iyo agize amahirwe agakurana n’ababyeyi bombi.

Rutagarama yasobanuye ko ku myaka 3 aribwo umwana atangira kumenya ibijyanye n’igitsina cye bityo agatangira kuba yakifuza kumera nka se cyangwa nka nyina bitewe n’uwo badahuje. Ngo hari igihe bivamo ishyari aho usanga umukobwa afuhira se, umuhungu na we agafuhira nyina.

Abajijwe niba nta kibazo byatera mu mikurire y’abana yadusobanurira ko nta mpungenge na nke ndetse buri mwana akura agenda amenya agaciro k’ababyeyi be bombi.

Uyu muganga na we yasobanuye ko ari ibintu umuntu atasabonura impamvu ituma bibaho. Alexis kandi yemeza ko ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko uru rukundo rw’abana n’ababyeyi babo iyo rukomeye cyane hari igihe bigera umwana na se bagashakana cyangwa umuhungu akica se.

Benshi mu banditsi bagaragaza ko ababyeyi b’abagabo ari bo bakunze gukina cyane n’abana bikaba impamvu nyamukuru ituma akenshi abakobwa bikundira ba se.

Sigmund Freud umuganga, umushakashatsi akaba n’inzobere y’ibibazo byo mu mutwe, mu bushakashatsi bwe avuga ko ari ibintu bigoye kubisobanura, gusa akomeza avuga ko mu mikurire y’umwana w’umukobwa yigira gukunda kuri se ndetse akiga kuzaba umufasha mwiza agendeye ku rugero nyina amuha, n’abahungu nabo bikaba uko, bakigira kuri ba se.

Freud avuga ko atari ihame ko abahungu bose bakunda ba nyina, cyangwa abakobwa bagakunda ba se ko ahubwo ari ibintu byizana mu miterere y’umuntu.

Bamwe mu babyeyi baganiriye na IGIHE na bo bagarutse kuri uru rukundo basobanura ko babibona mu miryango yabo ariko batazi neza ikibitera.

Uwamariya Chantal w’imyaka 19 yagize ati “Njyewe biratandukanye kuko nakuze mbana na mama wanjye . Ntabwo nigeze menya urukundo rwa papa bityo rero ndi inshuti cyane na mama”

Benshi mu babyeyi baganiriye na IGIHE, bemeje ko mu bana babo koko na bo babonye ko bibaho, aho usanga abahungu bakunda gukina na ba nyina ndetse bakabisanzuraho kurusha ba se.

Muhoza umubyeyi w’abakobwa 2 yadutangarije ko bimutera ikibazo kubona abakobwa be bisanzura kuri se kumurusha ndetse n’ abantu bakaba bamubwira ko abakobwa ari aba se gusa ngo asanga byose biterwa n’uburyo ababyeyi baba barareze abana.

Ati “Njye nifuzaga kubyara akandi gakobwa nkagira byibuze batatu ariko abantu bose bambwira ko nkeneye umuhungu kuko ngo abakobwa ari aba se. Ibi rwose simbyemera na gato biterwa nuko abana barezwe ndetse n’urukundo nk’umubyeyi wabahaye.”

Kagoyire umubyeyi w’abana batanu yabwiye IGIHE ko abakobwa be bakunda se cyane kumurusha ndetse na we akiri muto ngo yakuze akunda se kurusha nyina.

Ati “Bafite byinshi bahuriraho ndetse nanjye nkagira ibyo duhuza. Ntekereza ko abana b’abakobwa baba bakeneye urukundo rwa ba se. Nta kibazo bintera hubwo biranshimisha”

Sigmund Fred avuga ko atari ibintu umwana yishyiramo ahubwo ngo arabikurana ndetse gusobanura impamvu y’icyo kintu gitera umwana kuba yakunda umubyeyi umwe ngo biragorana cyane. Akomeza avuga ko buri mwana avukana umwihariko we uretse ko abana bose hari ibintu bahuriraho muri kamere y’imikurire yabo.

Nubwo habaho urukundo rudasanzwe hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi badahuje ibitsina, hari igihe habaho n’urwango rukomeye bitewe n’imyitwarire y’ababyeyi ku bana babo, urugero iyo umugabo ari inkazi avuga nabi, atongana, kurwana, umwana byamugora cyane kuba urukundo rwe na se rukomera.

Ku bagore iyo bagira umuco w’uburaya, gutaha bwije, kuvuga nabi, n’izindi ngeso, byose biba byagira icyo bihungabanya ku mikurire y’umwana. Niyo mpamvu ababyeyi bakangurirwa kujya birinda intonganya mu ngo no gutonesha abana bamwe abandi bakaryamirwa.

Abashakashatsi , bagira inama ababyeyi kujya bagira aho bagarukira mu rukundo rwabo n’abana mu rwego rwo kwirinda ibi bibazo.