Ibi bishingirwa ku mpamvu zitandukanye aho hari abavuga ko uwo muhungu akurikiye ubutunzi bw’umukobwa cyangwa umugore bagiye kubana, noneho uwo w’igitsinagore yaba aba mu bihugu byateye imbere bikavugwa ko umuhungu icyo yishakira ari visa ngo ajye guhindurira ubuzima bwe bwite mu mahanga yitwaje uwo mubano.

Naho abatoteza uwo mukobwa/mugore bamwita umurozi cyangwa se bakavuga ko acisha inzaratsi kuko nta kindi cyakabaye gituma uwo muhungu yemera ko bashyingiranwa, usibye kuba hari ibyo yakoresheje akamuhuma amaso.

Amagambo y’abantu kuri iyi ngingo aba menshi iyo abo bombi cyangwa umwe muri bo ari icyamamare, kuko batibasirwa n’ababazengurutse gusa ahubwo bahindurwa igitaramo ku mbuga nkoranyambaga no mu itangazamakuru.

IGIHE yaganiriye na bamwe mu batuye mu Mujyi wa Kigali batanga ibitekerezo byabo kuri iyi ngingo, aho Umunyamakuru Kanamugire Mucyo Kevin avuga ko yumva bigoye ko ingo zubatse muri ubu buryo ziramba mu gihe hari abagifata nabi ihame ry’uburinganire.

Ati ‘‘Turacyari kurwana n’ikintu cyitwa ihame ry’uburinganire hano mu Rwanda, bivugwa ko bamwe mu bagore bamaze kumva uburinganire icyakabaye uburinganire no kuzuzanya bamaze kubyumva nabi. Noneho rero iyo bihuriranye n’icyo kintu cyo kuba umusore w’imyaka 30 n’ubundi nta bushobozi yari afite, byajya kuba amahirwe wenda umugore akaba akurushaho ubushobozi gato (...) nujyayo abantu bose bari bukurebe barabona ko wajyanwe n’ibyo bintu.’’

‘‘Icya kabiri, numara no kujya yo ugahura n’imyaku akaba ari wa mugore utarumvise ihame ry’uburinganire ngo aryumve yumve igikwiye kubaho, uzajya utangira kurya akwibutse ko warya wagira iyo sahani uri kuriraho ari we wayiguze.’’

Ikindi yagaragaje nk’igishobora gutuma izo ngo zitaramba ni ukutumvikana ku gikorwa cyo gutera akabariro kuko gishobora kugenda nabi bitewe n’imyaka abo bashakanye barimo, kuko uko umugore akura agana mu gihe cyo gucura (Menopause) bimuviramo gutakaza ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, mu gihe umugabo we iyo akiri muto aba ageze mu myaka myiza yo kuba we ashaka cyane icyo gikorwa.

Ibi abigaragaza nk’ibituma gucana inyuma bishobora kwiyongera muri izo ngo, akenshi bigakorwa n’abagabo bagerageza kujya kwishakira abakobwa cyangwa abagore bakiri bato bagifite imbaraga zo kubaha ibyishimo bakeneye.

Gusa yongeyeho ko hari n’ibyo abona nk’ingaruka nziza mu kuba umusore yashakana n’umukobwa cyangwa umugore umurusha imyaka, kuko akenshi n’ababatega iminsi bagaragaza ko ibitazagenda neza muri urwo rugo bizaturuka kuri uwo mugore, ibituma ahora yigengesereye mu rugo akubaka neza kugira ngo yereke abo bantu ko ibyo bavuga atari ko bizagenda.

Ikindi ni uko Mucyo abona ko abo bashakanye iyo bamaze kubyarana umugore aba abonye abana mu gihe abakenereyemo cyane, ibituma akora uko ashoboye kose ngo abe umubyeyi mwiza ku bana be.

Abayisenga Claudine ni umubyeyi w’imyaka 42, we yavuze ko kuba umusore yashakana n’umukobwa cyangwa umugore umurusha imyaka y’ubukure nta kibazo abibonamo kuko urukundo rujya aho rushaka, abivuga ashingiye no ku buhamya bwe bwite.

Avuga ko ubwo yari amaze kugira abana batatu ariko atakibana n’umugabo, nyuma yaje guhura n’umusore arusha imyaka icyenda bagakundana ndetse baza kubana, ubu bakaba bamaranye imyaka umunani kandi bakaba babanye neza.

Ati ‘‘Urugero wenda narwitangaho, maze kugira abana nka batatu nahuye n’umuntu turakundana kandi atabizi ko abo bana mbafite, atanabizi ko wenda ndi ku myaka yo hejuru y’iye. Ntabwo rero byabaye ikibazo cyangwa se ngo bitume tutabana kandi yari yankunze. Rero ni ukuvuga ngo inama nagira abantu bivanga mu rukundo, nabagira inama yo kutivanga mu rukundo rwa babiri kuko urukundo ni amarangamutima ntawe urukoresha.’’

Nyinawumuntu Marie Claire we avuga ko bitagakwiye ko umusore ashakana n’umukobwa cyangwa umugore umurusha imyaka y’ubukure, kuko igihe kiba kizagera uwo mugabo agatangira kubona ko umugore we ashaje akifuza abakiri bato.

Ati ‘‘Umusore niba ashakiye ku myaka 27 agashakana n’umugore w’imyaka 40, uko biri kose bazakomeza banakore bigire hejuru. Umugore namara kugera mu myaka 45 cyangwa 50, wa musore azatangira kureba abagore bakiri bato bari munsi y’uwo mugore, abe ari bo atangira kurarikira kubera ko azaba yatangiye kubona ko wa wundi akuze.

Ni mu gihe Rukundo Shaffy we avuga ko gushakana n’umukobwa ukurusha imyaka bituma agusuzugura akumva ko uri umwana ntacyo ushoboye akumva yakuyobora ndetse agatangira kugufuhira cyane kuko aba atekereza ko byoroshye ko umuca inyuma ku bari munsi y’imyaka ye.

Ati ‘‘Akunda kumva ko uri munsi ye, nta kintu wamubwira uti kora iki, nyine nta guhuza kubera ko we aba yumva ko icyerecyezo cyose ari we ugomba kukiguha agendeye ko wowe ukiri muto."

"Ugasanga nk’uwo mukobwa niba tubana ugasanga akenshi afite ifuhe ryinshi, ngo runaka, ngo telefoni, ngo ibiki, ngo wirebeye utwana mungana, ibintu nk’ibyo nyine ugasanga si byiza. Ari yo mpamvu njyewe n’iyo wamfatiraho igisasu, sinshobora!’’

Ubushakashatsi buvuga iki kuri iyi ngingo?

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Sven Drefahl wo mu Kigo Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research cyo mu Budage bugatangazwa mu 2010, buvuga ko uko abagore bashakana n’abagabo barusha imyaka y’ubukure ari ko byongerera abo bagore ibyago byo gupfa imburagihe, ukurikije uko byakagenze baramutse bashakanye n’abagabo bangana.

Bwavuze kandi ko umugore ushakana n’umugabo arusha imyaka nibura iri hagati y’irindwi n’icyenda, ibyago by’uwo mugore byo bupfa imburagihe byiyongera ku kigero cya 20%, mu gihe umugabo ushakana n’umugore arusha iyo myaka we bimugabanyira ibyago byo bupfa imburagihe ku kigero cya 11%.

Bwakozwe hifashishijwe raporo zo mu mavuriro atandukanye hakurikiranwa ibigendanye n’ubuzima bw’abo mu ngo miliyoni ebyiri z’abashakanye bo muri Danmark.

Nta makuru ashingiye kuri siyansi agaragaza impamvu nyamukuru ituma ibyago byo gupfa kare ku mugore washakanye n’umugabo arusha imyaka y’ubukure byiyongera, gusa ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abagore bashaka muri ubwo buryo bakunze kwibasirwa n’umuhanganyiko ukabije.