Abenshi iyo bageze ibwotamasimbi hari igihe bagorwa no guhuza umuco wabo n’uw’aho bagiye bitewe n’imiterere y’ubuzima bw’abo basanze muri iyo sosiyete.

Mu Rwanda rwo hambere, umusore wageraga igihe cyo kurongora, yabanaga n’umukobwa baziranye neza mu mico n’imyitwarire, yizeye ko bazarambana.

Iterambere ry’ikoranabuhanga rihuriza abantu ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, bagategura ubukwe buhutiyeho; byakubitiraho kwerekeza hanze y’u Rwanda bakagira undi mutwaro wo guhuza imico kavukire n’iyaho bimukiye.

Mu kiganiro cyihariye na IGIHE, Nina Mutesi Ngarambe wiga Imitekerereze y’umuntu n’Ubujyanama (Psychology and Counselling) mu Bwongereza, yagaragaje uko abakobwa n’abarushinze baba i Burayi bakwiye kwitwara.

Yagize ati “Abakobwa hari igihe dutekereza ko kuba twigenga tugomba kurengera, kandi dushobora kugumana umuco tukawuharanira. Hari abagera hano bagata uburere, hari imico iba hano dukwiye kwigana, naho itagira icyo idufasha tukayirengagiza. Iyo tugeze hano tukayifata yose tukayishyira hamwe, ibintu byose birangirika.”

Uyu munyarwandakazi yavuze ko kubaka urugo ruhamye bisaba kwishingikiriza indangagaciro za Kinyarwanda zo kudatatira umuco gakondo.

Ati “Isi yahaye umukobwa n’umugore ijambo ariko usanga hari igihe turikoresha nabi. Hari igihe inaha mu mahanga, umugore yumva ko agomba kurengera ku mugabo we, akamufata uko yishakiye, akamusuzugura yibwira ko ntacyo amaze. Twakuze batubwira ko buri gihe habaho umutwe w’urugo; batwumvishije ko umugabo ariwe mutware. Iyo ugeze mu kigero ukumva ko ugiye kumusimbura ntabwo bikunda.”

Mutesi w’imyaka 27 yavuze ko usibye kwiga amasomo, anaganira n’abakuru bakamusangiza ubunararibonye bwo mu buzima busanzwe.

Yakomeje ati “Iyo uganira n’abakuru hari aho bagufasha kugira ibyo wirinda. Abantu benshi muri iki gihe no muri Afurika ndabyumva ko abagore bashaka kubigaranzura, nibyo ushobora gukora ibintu kuko baduhaye uburenganzira. Ntabwo bikiri nka kera aho umugore yicaraga mu rugo gusa ngo abyare. Ushobora kujya gukora ariko ukagira cya cyubahiro cyo kuvuga ngo ndi umugore, uriya ni umugabo. Nta buringanire bwo kuvuga ngo tugiye kungana mu rugo, ubwo dufite ni ubwo kuvuga ngo nanjye mfite ijambo, ntabwo ushobora kumpohotera ngo nceceke.”

Mu mpanuro ze, Mutesi yagiriye ingo nshya inama zo kwihanganirana no kugirana ibanga, ikibaye cyose ntigihite kijya ku karubanda nkuko iza kera zabikoraga kandi zikaramba.

Yagize ati “Numva ko mu rugo hagomba kubaho amahitamo mbere yo kuvanga imico itandukanye. Urugo ni urw’abantu babiri bagomba kubahana no kumvikana. Umugore agomba kwemera ko ari umugore ari n’umugabo akamenya ko afite umufasha uzamuba hafi mu kungurana ibitekerezo bitandukanye. Ingo z’abakiri bato bashaka guhindura umuco mu ngo zabo bakwiye kwitwararika.”

Ingo nshya z’Abanyarwanda baba mu mahanga zirimo iz’abanyeshuri biga hanze bashyingirwa bagahita basubirana n’abageni babo mu bihugu babarizwamo ndetse n’urubyiruko rwavukiye hanze rukabengukana.

Reba ikiganiro cyihariye Nina Mutesi yagiranye na IGIHE