Ni ibyatangajwe n’umunyamerika Dr. John Gottman akaba umujyanama w’abashakashanye ndetse n’umuryango, aho yamaze imyaka isaga 40 akora ubushakashatsi kuri iki kintu, ku ngo zirenga 3000 z’abashakanye.

Dr. Gottman yakoze ubu bushakashatsi agendeye ku bisubizo by’abashakanye bamuganaga bakeneye inama mu bihe bitandukanye, aho mbere yo kuganira na bo yabahaga impapuro buri wese yandikaho ibikubiyemo impamvu akeneye ubujyanama mu rushako rwe.

Ku isonga y’ibiteranya abashakanye nk’uko ubushakashatsi bwe bubigaragaza hazamo kudahana umwanya, amafaranga, uko imirimo yo mu rugo ikorwa, kutagaragarizanya uko biyumvanamo ndetse n’imiryango yabo.

Kuri iki cy’imiryango ni igihe umwe mu bashakanye ashobora kuba yita ku bo mu muryango we cyane ku buryo anabajyana mu rugo rwabo bakahaba, ibibangamira mugenzi we nubwo hari igihe atabivuga.

Ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko hari intonganya zidafututse abashakanye bahoramo, ku buryo igihe kigera bagakomeza gutongana bakanibagirwa icyo bari gupfa.

Urubuga rw’ikigo cy’Abanyamerika gikoreramo abajyanama mu mitekerereze, Living Well Counseling, mu 2019 rwatangaje ko intonganya z’abashakanye zikunze kuba uruhererekane, bityo ko mu gukemura ibibazo neza buri wese muri bo aba adakwiye kumva ko buri gihe aba ari we uri mu kuri ngo mugenzi we abe mu makosa.

Rugaragaza ko ukwiye kumva ko wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mukwiye kumva ko mwembi mushobora kuba muri mu kuri bitewe n’uko buri wese muri mwe abona ibintu mu buryo butandukanye n’ubwa mugenzi we, bityo ko bidakwiye ko mukomeza kurebera ibintu mu ndorerwamo y’ibitagenda ngo mwirengagize ibyo mukora neza.