Mu muco nyarwanda, hari imihango y’ubukwe yakorwaga mu bihe byo hambere ndetse n’uyu munsi igikorwa, ariko iyo usobanuje neza iyo mihango, usanga kuri ubu hari ababikora mu rwego rwo kurangiza umuhango gusa. Nyamara ahubwo hagakwiye kurebwa uburyo byakorwa hatabayeho gutsikamira umuco no gutakaza umwanya.

Tutagiye kwinjira mu bisobanuro byimbitse by’iyo mihango, reka turebe uko muri iki gihe ikorwa ndetse tunibaze niba koko dukwiye gukomeza kuyikora nabi cyangwa twareka gukora ibintu tudasobanukiwe neza.

Muri iki gihe, imihango y’ubukwe yagombye gukurikirana itya:

Hari mihango imwe n’imwe ya kera isa nk’iyacitse nko kuranga, kurambagiza no kurambagirizwa, gutebutsa, kwarama, gutanga/kwakira indongoranyo, n’ibindi. Byinshi muri byo (kimwe n’ibindi tutarondoye) ntibigikorwa.

Reka twibande ku buryo imwe mu mihango ikorwa ubu yakurikirana.

– Gusaba no gukwa

Ni imihango ibiri itandukanye. Gusaba birabanza, umugeni yatangwa hagakurikiraho gukwa, nubwo muri iki gihe bikorerwa umunsi umwe. Umukobwa asabwa se cyangwa uhagarariye se, iyo amutanze nibwo bumvikana ibirebana n’inkwano. Henshi inkwano iba yaratanzwe mbere, ibindi bigakorwa nk’umuhango gusa.

–  Gusezerana imbere y’amategeko

Iyo ababyeyi bamaze guha umugisha ubumwe bw’abana babo, hakurikiraho gusezerana imbere y’amategeko.

– Gusezerana imbere y’Imana

Ni wo muhango ukurikira bitewe n’imyemerere ya buri muntu, hari n’abatabikora ku mpamvu zitandukanye.

– Kwakira abatumirwa

Uyu muhango nta murongo-hame ugira kuko byose biterwa n’ubushobozi ndetse n’ubushake bw’abageni. Hambere baratekaga, bakagabura, bakanywa bakizihirwa, ariko henshi ubu siko bigenda.

- Gutwikurura

Ni wo muhango wa nyuma usoza ubukwe bw’iki gihe, aho abageni baba bamaze gutaha mu rugo rwabo.

Mu by’ukuri uko iyo mihango ikurikirana, usibye kuba wakuramo imwe bitewe n’ukwemera cyangwa ubushake, iyo habayeho kubikurikiranya mu bundi buryo usanga hari bimwe byateshejwe agaciro, ari nabyo tugiye kuvugaho.

Aho bisigaye bipfira muri iki gihe…

Kuri ubu umusore agira atya agasaba umukobwa ko babana, igikorwa kizwi ku izina rya "Demande en mariage" cyangwa " Wedding proposal". Akenshi iki gikorwa kiba cyatumiwemo inshuti n’abavandimwe. Ibi bikaba ari ibigenda bizana n’iterambere kimwe n’ibindi byinshi tugenda turebera ku bihugu byateye imbere aribyo bigaragara nko guta umuco wacu (Acculturation).

Ariko twibukiranye ko n’abo twigana, akenshi umusore abanza kuganiriza se w’umukobwa akamusaba uburenganzira bwo kuba yasaba umukobwa we kumubera umugore.

Ibyo iyo umusore atabikoze ni uko ahanini baba badaha umwanya munini ababyeyi mu buzima bw’urukundo rwabo bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye. Hamwe na hamwe usanga kuba umubyeyi wawe atabyemeye byahagararira aho, ahandi ugasanga kubyemera no kutabyemera bitabuza ubukwe gutaha.

Reka twibaze…

None se, tugarutse iwacu, mu gihe wasabye umukobwa ko akubera umugore, imbere y’inshuti n’abavandimwe, yewe rimwe na rimwe n’ababyeyi, ubwo umuhango wo gusaba wundi uzaba ari uw’iki?

Ese icyo gihe gusaba ntitwabireka kuko byaba byarangiye hakaba umuhango wo gukwa gusa?

Ese iyo umukobwa yemeye kuzakubera umugore, nyuma hakaba umuhango wo gusaba, ababyeyi baramutse banze, ubukwe ntibwataha?

Ese abakoze igikorwa cyo gusaba aribo bazakora umuhango wo gukwa cyangwa icyo gihe bazamenyesha ababyeyi ko bemeranywe kubana noneho ababyeyi bakomeze gahunda zo gukwa/gukosha?

Tukiri ku muhango wo gusaba no gukwa, muri iki gihe abantu bagira batya bakagutumira mu bukwe, wareba ku butumire ngo :

10:00-12:00: Gusezerana imbere y’amategeko ;
14:00-17:00 : Umuhango wo gusaba no gukwa

Uhita wibaza uti ese ubu igikorwa cyo gusaba no gukwa kimaze iki mu gihe mwagishyize nyuma yo gusezerana imbere y’amategeko?

Iyo bageze imbere y’amategeko bahava bemewe kubana nk’umugabo n’umugore ndetse mu Murenge babaza agaciro k’inkwano zatanzwe. Ibi bivuze ko byakagombye kuba byarakozwe mbere.

Isesagura

Muri iki gihe benshi bavuga ko ubukwe bw’ubu buhenze cyane, gusa umuntu yakwibaza impamvu abantu bajya guhendwa no gukora ibintu byitwa ko ari ukubahiriza umuco nyarwanda kandi mu by’ukuri ntube unubahirijwe nk’uko bikwiye.

Ese umuntu yiyemeje gukora ubukwe bwe agendeye ku buryo yasobanukiwemo buri muhango, agahitamo ibyo akora n’ibyo areka, byafatwa bite mu muryango?

Ese niba koko ababyeyi baha agaciro iyo mihango y’ubukwe, dore ko n’abageni kenshi bavuga ko babikoreye kubaha no kubahisha ababyeyi, bashatse uburyo bayisobanurira abana babo bityo bigakorwa mu buryo bunoze?

Uko mbibona

Numva icyiza kiruta byose abageni bagakwiye kwicarana n’ababyeyi babo bakumvikana uko imihango y’ubukwe izagenda batarebeye ku bukwe bw’abandi bwatambutse, ahubwo bagaha agaciro igisobanuro cya buri muhango, bityo bakaboneraho kureba niba ari ngombwa kuwubahiriza, bafatiye ku mpagarike yabo n’uko babayeho muri icyo gihe ( situation familiale ).

Ikindi kuba umuntu yaramaze kwambika impeta umukunzi bitegura kurushinga, batagakwiye kongera kuyimwambika mu muhango wo gusaba no gukwa, baramutse bawusobanukiwe.

Niba twubashye imihango n’imigenzo y’ubukwe bw’abakurambere nk’uko bwahoze, tubigendemo mu nzira zabyo, ariko niba tujyanye n’iterambere nidukore ibitavangavanze, rimwe na rimwe bisa n’ibidafite impamvu n’igisobanuro.